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Members Own General Literature Non anime poems, stories or any of your own written work.

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  #1  
Unread 09-28-2009, 02:33 PM
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Default My Original Stories on FP

This thread now includes poems, from page 3

I found this thread so here goes

::The Oneshots::

Stumbling Uphill

This one is really short. The idea amused me at the time New version on page three of this thread

How I Became A Vampire

Sam, a librarian by day and writer of mystery novels by night finds her new creative writing lecturer suspicious, very suspicious indeed. M/F

::Longer Peices::

::Complete::

Wisp

Jayden is convinced he's gone invisible until the day he literally falls upon Cole. Written in first person. Has an abrupt ending. Comments welcome. shonen-ai-ish 4Chapters

::Incomplete/Ongoing::

Finding Mikail

Mikail is psychic, and bad tempered, and swears whenever he likesand often. Throw him together with an aloof ex-assassin, a Jack of all Trades, and an ever amused information trader and you might end up with something dangerously combustible. Mention of twincest A work in progress... any and all feedback welcome. M/M eventually. 20 chapters currently

Winter Garden

Naire is a vampire without a twin in the DelVive family, an unusual anomaly. Now, just about maturing into his vampiric powers, he has no one to blood bond to without which he might very literally go insane. M/M eventually Work in progress as well, I alternate between these last two. Again, any feedback or suggestions are welcome 19 chapters currently

My work is mild on the rating scale, mostly yaoi .

And that's a wrap

Last edited by PencilSketchS; 09-23-2010 at 01:05 PM. Reason: Adding Info
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Unread 09-28-2009, 10:46 PM
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Default Re: My Original Stories on FP

Those were absolutely phenomenal. I love it. Such spice. I'm amused at your talent. Frankly I'm in awe.
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Unread 09-29-2009, 03:47 AM
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Default Re: My Original Stories on FP

Thank you so much Did you read them all?! Wow. That was quick Let me know what you thought of them individually - constructive crit maybe
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Unread 09-29-2009, 06:17 AM
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Default Re: My Original Stories on FP

The first one was a bit shocking. That was a bit of a twist, certainly not what I was expecting.

The second one captivated me even more so. The plot, although there are similar ones, was excellent because it developed the characters in an interesting light. Nice climax, too. Definite maturity as well.

The third one is a story that I'm sure everyone can or will be able to relate to at some point in their lives.

The other two were excellent as well. They were different in their own respects. I loved how you created a group and had them interactive in that fashion when it comes to the fourth one. The fifth one was interesting in such a way that the insanity of that family really screams at me.
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Unread 09-29-2009, 06:25 AM
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Default Re: My Original Stories on FP

i will read all of these in the morning. i even subscribed to the thread
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Unread 09-30-2009, 02:03 PM
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Default Re: My Original Stories on FP

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash: the Angel of Battle View Post
The first one was a bit shocking. That was a bit of a twist, certainly not what I was expecting.

The second one captivated me even more so. The plot, although there are similar ones, was excellent because it developed the characters in an interesting light. Nice climax, too. Definite maturity as well.

The third one is a story that I'm sure everyone can or will be able to relate to at some point in their lives.

The other two were excellent as well. They were different in their own respects. I loved how you created a group and had them interactive in that fashion when it comes to the fourth one. The fifth one was interesting in such a way that the insanity of that family really screams at me.
Thank you so much for the message, and for your thoughts on my stories. I appreciate the feedback, and enjoy it almost as much as I do writing the stories. Thanks!
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Unread 09-30-2009, 09:30 PM
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Default Re: My Original Stories on FP

sorry i have not read the stories yet, i cant concentrate when my friend wont stop talking Xb
i got threw the second part of the first story to prove that i tried reading it lol
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Unread 09-30-2009, 10:07 PM
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Default Re: My Original Stories on FP

Quote:
Originally Posted by MasamuneSephiroth View Post
sorry i have not read the stories yet, i cant concentrate when my friend wont stop talking Xb
i got threw the second part of the first story to prove that i tried reading it lol
That's cool. Let me know what you think about the stories once you've had time to read the ones that interest you. Some of them are pretty long too, so I don't expect anyone to get through them all in one sitting. But thanks for reading the first one
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Unread 10-01-2009, 08:57 PM
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Default Re: My Original Stories on FP

Okay, this has never been posted anywhere before. I started writing this two and a half years ago and haven't touched it in nearly as long, but seeing as I already have almost 6 chapters, I'm thinking of finishing it up, but I need a bit of encouragement and plot ideas. If anyone could help, I'd really appreciate it. Thanx

Part 1

The Colour Red


Click here to see full text
CHAPTER 1


“WHAT’S BITTEN YOU?”

Marcus was in his usual bad mood as he stalked around his penthouse apartment. Dale sat reclined on one of the couches, lean body stretched out, arm draped across the back. His hair was tied back, well most of it was. Some of it was still too short and hung loose around his face. His dark blue eyes followed the movements of his cousin pacing.

“You’re going to walk a hole into the carpet. Just tell me what’s wrong so you can get over it.”

Moonlight spilled in through the floor to ceiling windows as the silver haired man continued his pacing. He did not even pause to answer his cousin. His hands clenched into fists at his side and a pulse beat where he clenched and unclenched his jaw.

“You were in a far better mood when you left. Did something go wrong? Did you bump into James? Wasn’t he happy to see you?”

At the mention of the other man’s name Marcus had stopped his pacing to stand dead still. However, with the last question his cousin hardly had the chance to blink before a hand clamped hard around his throat.

“Shut up! Just shut up!”

His grip tightened as Dale laughed around Marcus’s chokehold. So that’s it! He hardly blinked an eye as the hold on his throat tightened until he felt his trachea collapse, the cartilage giving way beneath the pressure, his throat caving in. Satisfied with the damage, but deprived of a satisfactory reaction, Marcus let go of Dale’s throat to glare down at him.

“Never mention that sad excuse for a man’s name in front of me again. Understand?”

Not waiting for an answer he knew he would not be getting from his cocky cousin, he left the room. Clearing his throat as it reassembled itself Dale stretched and too stood up from where he was sitting.

I wonder what happened with ‘dear’ James this time. Poor Marcus is so hung up on the guy. Talk about an ungrateful fledgling. That’s why it’s best not to make one. But Marcus does make some sense sometimes. I do feel a bit parched. Time to find supper.

Putting on a pair of sunglasses, all the while cursing his particular affliction, which made the glasses necessary, he left the apartment and headed out into the night.


Marcus considered the boy hanging limply in his arms, his eyes glazed and staring at nothing. The boy’s screams had eased the tension that had been steadily building up in his chest after his confrontation with James. In addition, because of his earlier meal, he had not drained this boy too much. His silver hair fell down around his victim’s shoulders and neck, and he had the urge to bend down and rip through the boy’s throat. It looked so soft and inviting. It made his fangs throb expectantly. Yes, there was just no winning against the monster that he was. The boy in his arms was basically gasping for breathe, and as Marcus stood there undecided, the boy started trembling and he began blinking rapidly as he regained his senses as the spell Marcus had cast began to wear off. Grinning wickedly as the boy once more looked up at him in horror, fascination and disbelief Marcus concluded that taking a little more blood would not hurt. Lifting the boy closer, practically picking him up off his feet, he bent his head and licked at the trickling wound that was beginning to heal already. Unlike that worthless woman, whom he had left bruised and torn as punishment, he was unusually kind for his mood tonight. The boy gave an audible gasp as Marcus once again sank his fangs into his neck and the sound only proved to make Marcus savour the boy even more. Drawing away, Marcus suddenly came to a decision, though an impulsive one, and biting his lip first so that it bled just a little; he bent and touched his lips briefly to the boy’s throat. He watched as the blood mingled and felt the boy stiffen slightly. Just that one drop of blood had been potent enough to ensure the boy’s survival, and for a link between the two, between the master and his meal, not enough to turn him though, because that was not the idea, not yet anyway. Returning the boy to where he had found him, Marcus left him with a whispered message before disappearing into the night.


“Hey! Nicholas! Wake up!”

Having found his friend passed out the night before on the commune stairs Gav had all but dragged Nicholas into the apartment and to his room. It had been lucky that he had gone out at all, but he had left his cell phone in his car, so he had had to go fetch it. Man, I wonder what you had to drink. Didn’t know you had it in you. Shaking his head at the lack of response, he just gave the lump of blankets a poke, giving a satisfied smirk at the resulting groan.

“If you want to have any time at all to get ready for your classes you’ll have to get up now. Next time think wisely before you party hard during the week.”

The lump beneath the duvet just groaned louder in protest and pulled the cover tighter around his head.

“Freaky dream…” he mumbled, the words muffled.

“Yeah, well just say thanks I brought your ass in from the cold. I’m off! See ya later!”

The front door closed behind him as Gav set off to his morning classes. In his room, Nicholas rolled over in bed and stared up at the ceiling. After a while though he picked up his sketchpad, ignoring his protesting body, and the taste in his mouth that urged him to brush his teeth before he did anything else, to draw the face that had haunted his dreams. Flipping through his book, looking for a blank page, he glanced fleetingly at his other finished pictures. People told him they were good, but in his mind no matter how hard he tried, the pictures he drew always made the models look sad and lost. Very realistic, but troubled. Chewing the back of his pencil, he closed his eyes and pictured what he would draw. Even the image itself brought on a sense of foreboding, but suppressing the shiver that ran down his spine he set to work, ignoring the time and the classes he was skipping.


“Hey Marcus, you haven’t been out for almost a week now. Your supper won’t come to you, you know.”

Dale looked worriedly at his cousin, though he knew Marcus was often in a bad mood, this time it was different. Normally he would be raving about it by now but he had not mentioned James at all since the last time. Picking his keys up from the table Dale began twirling it round.
“Come on, Marc. Let’s get out of here. I know a good place to meet some people. You can’t just stay here like this . . . Is this about James?”

Marcus sat very still, his continuous twitching ceasing at the mention of that name. Taking a deep breath that he did not really need, he stood and stretched. Walking, no sauntering, over to Dale he made a point of catching his cousin’s eye.

“I’ve told you I never want to here that name again. And Dale, I meant it.”

The cold look in his eyes burnt the message through, surprising Dale with its intensity. Before he even had a chance to respond Marcus was out the door. Shoving the keys that had stilled in his hand into his jeans pocket he decided it was time to pay James a bit of a visit. For a wayward fledgling this was really taking it very far. Marcus had always had an unnatural attachment to the young vampire that Dale could never quite understand. Sure, it was his first and only fledgling, that owed his immortality and loyalty to Marcus, but from the first things had gone wrong. Dale had watched as his childhood friend had fallen deeper and deeper into the darkness that shadowed his heart ever since. How long this game of hide and seek had gone on before this ending had occurred? Sighing in temporary defeat, he unfolded his sunglasses, the gesture second nature to him, and putting it on he stepped out the front door.



Sorry for the extremely long post and the choppiness, but that's how I wrote it and I'm a bit afraid to change anything

Last edited by PencilSketchS; 09-20-2010 at 12:14 PM. Reason: For ease of reading this thread, I've wrapped spoilers around the longer entries
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Unread 10-01-2009, 09:00 PM
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Default Re: My Original Stories on FP

Part 2

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Marcus was on his third victim when the hunger finally stopped gnawing at his stomach. He had cornered some bums sleeping behind some bushes in the park, and regardless of their smell and the general filth of them, had gorged himself until the last of them had nothing left to bleed. But now as the burning pain he had endured eased enough for him to think somewhat clearly again the stench of them overwhelmed him and if he could be sick, he felt he would have been. That he had lowered himself to feed off such vermin was despicable and it was all that damn Dale’s fault. Just the mention of his fledgling’s name caused him to loose his composure, anger driving the strict control he had been maintaining. This was his game, and testing the link between him and his new toy would have been quite useful. Once again, he had thrown himself into an unknown situation, a game in which he could only guess at the rules. But he would make sure that it was worth it, even if it was only a diversion from his current agitation. He was a persistent man, but he knew when a situation was out of his control. Getting rid of the woman would not endear him to James at all and honestly, what he really wanted to do was just to kill the both of them. He had made their existence possible; it was his blood that ran through both of their veins! A burning sensation flared up in him even at the thought of James and that woman, happy together, sharing the joys the night had to offer the way no one would with him.

At the thought, temptation took hold and the last semblance of his patience ran out. There would be no toying with the boy after all, rules and consequences be damned. Why should he have to sneak around in the dark, tiptoeing around the boy, and for what, to stop rejection, preserve the boy’s sanity? Test the waters and ensure complete control? However, having the boy under his absolute control like a mindless doll who was unable to resist would not be very exciting or distracting. So why bother with complexities and stifling old niceties. The wind howled as he followed the link that connected him to the boy. It was still faint and weak, but with time it would strengthen in his favour. Though the fun and games had not even gotten started, he would finish this thing tonight. He was tired of waiting.


Gav knocked on Nicholas’s door for the hundredth time that day as Nicholas applied colour to his pencil sketch. This was the ninth picture he had finished in less than seven days and rightly, he could not remember the last time he had had something substantial to eat of more than an hour of sleep at a time. Each time he slept he would be plagued by nightmares. Darkness, screaming and a burning hunger that got stronger and sharper each time he went to sleep. He would find himself fanaticising in his dreams about such horrible things, stuff that belonged in movies, but when he woke up, he could still almost taste the memory of the warm gushing blood he had savoured in his dream. It was not as frightening as it was disturbing, especially the state in which he left the bodies. Each time he awoke, he would be inspired to draw another drawing, and each time it would be different picture, the old one would be abandoned, incomplete. That is why he forced himself to stay awake until he was satisfied with his drawing before he allowed fatigue to pull him down. Every time it would be the same man, the same shadowed face. Now finally he was done. Running a hand through his hair, leaving it ruffled and standing on end he unlocked his door to see what his flat mate had wanted.

“Hey! Watch out or you’ll step in your supper. We got take-out.” Gav called from the couch, where he was perched in front of the television. Gav looked up, relief showing on his face now that Nic had finally come out of his room.

“Stephanie called earlier; she brought over some notes and assignments earlier. I told her to leave it on the entrance table. She’s worried about you, man. You haven’t been to class since last Thursday.” When Gav finally paused to take a breath, Nicholas sat down next to him and took a bite out of the pizza he’d found at his door.

“So come on, tell me what you’ve been up to since you locked yourself up.”
Gav had to wait until Nicholas had finished his slice of pizza before he got an answer.

“I don’t know. Not much. I’ve been drawing. I just didn’t feel well. If Steph comes by again tell her thanks for me.”

“You could tell her yourself you know. You aren’t still avoiding are you. I mean, man, it’s been three months since you guys broke up. You gotta forgive and forget.”

“Mm...” Nicholas agreed half-heartedly. “Is there anything to drink or should I go buy something.”

“I think we’re all out. But there’s some change in the kitchen if you feel like taking a walk to the shop.” Picking up his own slice of pizza Gav took a bite and turned to the TV as Nicholas got up.

“I’m off then. See you later.”

As Nicholas stepped out of the door a shiver ran down his spine. He turned and stared around. It was just dark and the cold kept everyone inside. Seeing no one, he shoved his hands into his jeans pockets and set off down the block, to prevent anyone from seeing that his hands were trembling. And suddenly this game intrigued Marcus. The boy could sense he was being watched, and he was getting edgy, but it was obvious that he did not know where Marcus was. It had been a while since he had hunted and toyed with his prey. As Nicholas came to a stop at the entrance to a rather dark looking side street Marcus savoured his indecision of whether or not to risk walking down that way. The tension was thick in the air as Nicholas disregarded his foreboding and stepped down the narrow road. Impatience clawed at Marcus, but he allowed the boy to get safely through the alley and out to the shop, trailing him all the way. This time on his way back Nicholas did not hesitate to take the alley.

Nicholas was not even halfway down the alleyway when he felt someone step up behind him. And I say felt, not heard, because whoever it was had not made a sound at all. He made to turn around but a soft voice whispered I his ear,

“For your own sake, don’t move.”

An arm wound itself around his waist and a shudder ran through him. He would have to wait for the opportunity to try to escape. The grocery bag was grabbed from his hands and thrown down the street causing his muscles to tense and his hands balled up into fists. This guy was beginning to piss him off, and he wondered at the fact that he had actually stayed still for this. He knew the other guy was taller, and by the feel of it probably stronger than him, but he could hold his own in a fight. Therefore, it was with a look of disbelief that he was turned around to face his attacker.

Marcus had been prepared to see fear or maybe wavering determination to escape when he spun the boy around to look at him, but instead he was almost shocked to see recognition and confusion in the wide eyes that looked up at him. The boy had to crane his head up to look at him, even though he was fairly tall himself, and it allowed a tempting view of his curved neck.

It was the silver haired man who’d been haunting his dreams and visions. The one whom he’d felt compelled to draw. As he stared, he saw that this face was a perfect match to the pictures littering his room, the down curving lips and unsmiling eyes. Those eyes could just as well have been ice-chips, that is how clear and cold they were. He had struggled with that very colour just an hour ago. But how could he have drawn this man? He could not recall meeting him somewhere. But the stranger’s next words seemed to say otherwise:

“I see you remember me… Interesting. It’s Marcus, by the way. Yours?”

Nicholas struggled to find his voice as he stuttered,

“N- Nicholas,” he managed to stutter out, noticing the slightly crazy look in the other man’s eyes.

“Nicholas.” The silver haired man savoured the name, as if to say ‘yes, I like it.’ Then he was bending down to stare into his eyes and he was grinning as he said, “Come here.”

And to Nicholas’s utter surprise he found his body obeying even though he’d far rather have turned and run. It only took a few faltering steps to close the gap then a flood of memories crashed in on his mind as the man held him close with one arm and with his fingers tangled in Nicholas’s hair, pulled his head back to bear his throat. Even as he remembered those suppressed memories from the week before he stared at disbelief at the fangs that slowly appeared, denting the other man’s lower lip. The stranger was no longer smiling, and though his mouth didn’t move he heard his next words clearly in his mind,

“If you don’t like pain, then please don’t struggle. But I really wouldn’t mind if you did.”

In response Nicholas’s body went stiff as he felt, in full detail, those sharp fangs sink into his throat, and then every pulse of blood that escaped his wound. A burning sensation spread through his shoulder as the vampire nuzzled his head into the curve of his neck.


Last edited by PencilSketchS; 09-20-2010 at 12:15 PM.
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